(this version has been heavily revised from the one I gave at mass today, I wish I had taken more time with it before mass – or that I could present it again)

I forgot to eat lunch today.  I got really engrossed in what I was doing at work. Flitting around, from one thing to the next. By mid-afternoon I was losing  steam. I couldn’t figure out why I had run out of energy. Then my stomach growled and I realized I had completely forgotten about lunch.  I thought to myself, if I’m going to make it through the day, I’d better sit down and eat something!

 When I was reflecting on today’s gospel I remembered my missed lunch and thought to myself, is spiritual hunger like physical hunger?  Is there only so far we can go before we have to stop, move away from the world, gather at Christ’s table and allow ourselves to be fed?

 As I reflected I realized that sometimes I forget about my spiritual food too. Running through the day and getting caught up in menial tasks. I sit in mass completely distracted by my other obligations and entirely disconnected from the celebration. Then I thought of the people in today’s gospel. They’ve have one taste of Christ and they can’t get enough. They want so much to be in the Christ’s presence that they climb into boats and sail across the sea to find him.

 I began to realize that often, I forget the significance of the Eucharist. I forget how blessed I am to be called to God’s table every day. I forget that if I really want to know God, and to do his work, if I want to have the strength to make it through my day, I have to accept his invitation to the table.

 I am challenged to remember that God loves us all so much, and wants so much for us to do his will on earth, that he allows us to take his presence physically into ourselves.

 It stuck me that this is what the Eucharist is about. I remembered that there are days when I cannot go to Mass, and even though I pray on those days, and make quiet time for God; I miss the Eucharist. I crave it. I get so hungry for this Spiritual food that I can’t wait until I’m able to receive it again.

 Spiritual hunger.

 I have come to realize, that I can only do so much, then I have to stop, move away from the world and gather with my brothers around the Lord’s table. In the Word, in our fellowship, and in the Eucharist I find the energy, love, wisdom, and Spirit that I need to keep me going. I am learning that In the Eucharist, we build community; we build Christ in one another.

 If we are called to be Christ for the world, we must stop and let Christ come into our lives… we must let Christ renew his spirit in us… we must love the Eucharist and allow ourselves to enter fully into its celebration. It is this Spiritual food that sustains us for the journey.  How blest we are to be able to come to God’s table every day. May we never forget how God satisfies our hunger and may we always be willing to seek God out wherever he is found.

Mary went out and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord!”

 I saw a man in New York City, he had no pants, and no shoes… and I saw the Lord

 I saw another man, walking ten miles home in the rain… and I saw the Lord

 I saw a little girl leap into her father’s arms at the airport… and I saw the Lord

 I see students everyday in the caf, laughing, visiting, eating, studying… and I see the Lord

 I look at each of us gathered here today… and I see the Lord

 Mary encountered the gardener that morning, and she saw the Lord

 Our Risen Christ is everywhere, He is in every person we meet, and everywhere we go. Do we recognize Jesus when we encounter him in others? In ourselves? Do we remember that each time we interact with someone, it is an opportunity to be Christ for that person and to find Christ in that person?

 When we encounter Christ, and we do, everyday, do we have the courage to run to our friends and say “I have seen the Lord!” so that they too may encounter the peace of Christ?

 Wherever you go today, I invite you to see the Risen Christ and I invite you to be Him for others. For he has most assuredly risen, and now he goes before us to greet everyone we meet.

“Sing Praise to the Lord for he has rescued the life of the poor from the power of the wicked”

 I’m sure it’s no accident that Jeremiah’s words come to us just one week before Good Friday. He speaks of betrayal , of false accusation, of darkness.

 But just when we are about to get lost in despair, he speaks of the love and loyalty of God.

 Today’s first reading is like a prelude to the passion of Christ. We see that even as we place our trust in God, the world can deal us a difficult, painful, and even terrifying lot, but we are reminded that even the darkest night ends at sunrise. Jeremiah trusts in God. He knows that God will deliver him from harm. Though he doesn’t know how, or what it will look like, he knows that the sun of justice will dawn, and God will be there to save.

I wonder if Jesus knew completely what surrendering his will to the will of God would ultimately mean. While he was being betrayed, falsely accused, beaten, humiliated, and crucified, was he able to trust that his Father would carry him through it and deliver him from his suffering?

 He trusted God’s will… and he died on a cross. 

 He trusted God’s will… and he rose from the dead!

 Perhaps our call today is simply to trust God’s will, even in darkness and uncertainty. We don’t know how, or what it will look like, but we must trust that God will bring us from adversity into the light of his love. We are called to know that our Lent ends with Christ’s Easter.

 We are called to trust the will of God, and to know that he will save us from the hands of the wicked.

Today’s readings are rich with meaning; I was a little overwhelmed trying to figure out what I should talk about. In prayer I kept coming back to the last phrase of the Gospel, “I do not seek my own will, but the will of the one who sent me.”

This is a radical statement for a society that places great importance on individuality and independence. We live in an “it’s all about me” kind of world. To hear Jesus say “I do not seek my own will, but that of my father,” can seem very foreign and very uncomfortable. Weird and stupid.

I know in my own life, I had a very strong idea about what path I would walk down. I clung to this will very hard, for a very long time. I pursued my chosen path tenaciously, but I never got anywhere, and I never really felt fulfilled.

After a while, I got tired, I had tried so hard to make it without God, and it just wasn’t working.  So I stopped running away, and tired to accept God’s call to something I had been refusing to consider. Suddenly I felt fulfilled, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. There are still things I always thought I would do, that I may not get to, but I’m okay with that. I’m working on it every day, and slowly, God’s will for my life, is becoming MY will for my life.  And I’m finding now, that I have experienced things that I would never have experiencedhad I followed my own path.

I think we are all called to do this: to accept, a little more each day, that God’s will for us is the greater will, and to ask him to conform our will to his. Jesus came to call sinners because his Father sent him to do it. He accomplished this mission because he surrendered his will to the will of his Father. Just think of the things God could accomplish through us if we let go of our own selfish wants and allow his will to come into our lives.

I encountered someone this weekend who takes exception to the last lines of today’s Gospel. In his mind, a God that is all loving and all forgiving would not hold us to human standards. An all loving God would forgive and forget, even if we don’t. He says that God forgives our short-comings, no questions asked.

So I thought about that for awhile.

And while it is true, that by the grace and mercy of God, our sins are forgiven as soon as we ask; how can we expect to benefit from God’s unconditional love, forgiveness, and acceptance, if we ourselves remain hateful, conniving, and vengeful, and do not forgive those who hurt us?

Do the Gospel’s not also warn of the hypocrites who profess faith with their mouths, but do nothing of good works to demonstrate that faith to others?

It seems to me that God is not asking for perfection, he created us, and he knows the weakness of our human condition; but he also knows what we are capable of if we place ourselves in his hands. God knows that it is hard for us to forgive others, hard to trust them again, and hard to forget the pain we felt. He is simply asking that we trust Him enough to try.

Perhaps God is saying to us “give me the pain, the hurt, and the distrust, and I will show you how to love, heal, accept, and forgive. I will give that to you, so you can give it to others. I can only show you true love and forgiveness if you are willing to pass my love on to others.”

In the Gospel Today Jesus teaches us to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread.” Could this be a reminder that as people of God, we are called to love as God does? We ask God’s forgiveness, mercy, and love, and He grants it to us. Then we must take this “daily bread” and use it the way God does; to love, forgive, and accept unconditionally.

Those last lines may not be an admonishment so much as a reminder that God’s forgiveness is an opportunity. An opportunity to let God to show us how to spread his love, grace, and mercy to those around us.

Mass: Monday, February 15, 2010
First Reading: Jas 1:1-11
Responsorial: Psalm 119:67, 68, 71, 72, 75, 76
Gospel: Mk 8:11-13

Do you ever wish that life was like an interstate highway? Gliding along at a decent speed taking in the beauty around you, and God giving you clearly marked, well lighted signs along the way that tell you exactly what to expect, when to expect it, and which way to turn when you get there.

We pray, we meditate, we may even fast. We seek God’s guidance and all we ask in return is a giant flashing neon arrow from heaven saying “DO THIS” “GO HERE” “THIS IS WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO”

This is what the Pharisees want in today’s Gospel: Proof. They don’t want to have to trust God. They want God to accept their doubt and give heed to their human desires. And Jesus says “NO”

James warns us against this in the first reading too. He says that when times get rough, and they will, we should not have doubt. That is not the time to ask God for an obvious sign. It is instead, the time to ask God for the wisdom and perseverance to see the small subtle signs that are all around us. God comes softly, and he ALWAYS answers our prayers. But if we’re gliding along, letting the scenery pass us by and only looking for the big, directional signs, we’ll miss all the little ways that God reveals himself to us along the way.

Like St. James says, we must persevere in our faith, if we ask God simply to give us what we need in order to show us the way, he will.

We don’t need neon signs; we need faith, perseverance, and trust in God’s love for us.

Mass: Friday, February 12, 2010
First Reading: Sir 47:2-11
Responsorial: Psalm 18:31, 47 and 50, 51
Gospel: Mk 6:14-29

Sometimes I got bogged down in the stories of the Old Testament.  It often seems to be same story told over and over and over again:

“God speaks through the prophet, the people repent, God promises to reign prosperity upon the people  forever if they remain faithful to him, the people do good for a while, then they turn their backs on God, God get’s angry and promises them only tragedy until they repent, they don’t, Israel get’s plundered, God speaks through the prophet, the people repent. And the cycle starts over.

The easy assumption to make is that God is vengeful and punishes us when we do wrong.

But I think the message is much more profound than that. We need to remmeber that as many times as the Israelites got it wrong, God forgave them and let them try to make it right again. In the dark times, I wonder, was God really saying “You’ve done wrong and now you have to suffer!” so much as he was saying “Come back! Come back! You’ve wandered away from me and I can’t help you unless you come back to me!

In our lives we experience Spiritual Highs and Spiritual Lows. At times we feel very close to God, but at others we seem to have fallen away and God appears to be very distant. Perhaps, at those times, we’ve lost track of what it really important, we’ve taken our trust from God and placed in the hands of something, or someone else. Then things  start to go wrong. We feel like God is punishing us.

He isn’t.

We have simply wandered away and he can’t help us unless we come back. We learn of our total dependence upon God. At these times, through all the muck, we hopefully hear God saying “Trust Me, look HERE, come back, and we’ll get through this together.

As many times as we screw it up, God will call us back and forgive us. And through his Grace, we may just get it right for once.

Mass
First Reading: Wisdom 3:1-9
Gospel: John 12:24-26

I wrote this reflection for mass this morning, and I hope you all find it thought provoking as you pray today.

The first reading tells us that if a just person dies for God, their spirit lives on and God will accomplish great things through them.

In the Gospel, Jesus speaks of the wheat, and how it must die to produce fruit. I think especially of the fruit produced in Jesus’ own death.

The prevailing message of our readings today seems to be this:
“if you want to follow Christ, if you want God to accomplish greatness through you, you must die to the life you had before. You must give up the possessions and concerns of this world and be reborn in Christ.”

Certainly, martyrdom is the ultimate example of this kind of death, but I also think about our own journeys as Marianists. The sacrifices we make, the things we have to give up in order to live this Christ filled life that we strive for.

I don’t think the readings are telling us “strive for martyrdom.”
I think they are saying “be willing to let go of those things you think are important so that God can show you true life in Himself”

As I think of our martyrs today, I realize that I cannot ever know what was going through their minds in those moments so long ago. But I wonder, did they have peace? Peace in knowing that through their lives as Marianists, they had already died to this world and began to live in Christ. Could they have had joy in this kind of death knowing that now they were going to live WITH Christ?

Like I said, I don’t know, and I can only pray about what I would do if placed in their circumstances, but I think the lives of Carlos, Fidel and Jesus, as well as today’s, readings remind us that we are all called to sacrifice for God and of the ultimate benefits of those sacrifices (eternal life with God). I think that today, our challenge is to live by their example, to be willing to follow God unconditionally, perhaps even to martyrdom.

I often wonder, can I do that?

~Andrew Caruso, Marianist Aspirant