Reflection: 4th Wednesday of Lent

Scripture: Isaiah 48: 8-15 ~ Psalm 145: 8-9, 13-14, 17-18 ~ John 5:17-30

Today’s readings are rich with meaning; I was a little overwhelmed trying to figure out what I should talk about. In prayer I kept coming back to the last phrase of the Gospel, “I do not seek my own will, but the will of the one who sent me.”

This is a radical statement for a society that places great importance on individuality and independence. We live in an “it’s all about me” kind of world. To hear Jesus say “I do not seek my own will, but that of my father,” can seem very foreign and very uncomfortable. Weird and stupid.

I know in my own life, I had a very strong idea about what path I would walk down. I clung to this will very hard, for a very long time. I pursued my chosen path tenaciously, but I never got anywhere, and I never really felt fulfilled.

After a while, I got tired, I had tried so hard to make it without God, and it just wasn’t working.  So I stopped running away, and tired to accept God’s call to something I had been refusing to consider. Suddenly I felt fulfilled, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. There are still things I always thought I would do, that I may not get to, but I’m okay with that. I’m working on it every day, and slowly, God’s will for my life, is becoming MY will for my life.  And I’m finding now, that I have experienced things that I would never have experiencedhad I followed my own path.

I think we are all called to do this: to accept, a little more each day, that God’s will for us is the greater will, and to ask him to conform our will to his. Jesus came to call sinners because his Father sent him to do it. He accomplished this mission because he surrendered his will to the will of his Father. Just think of the things God could accomplish through us if we let go of our own selfish wants and allow his will to come into our lives.

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